"Dig Where the Ground is Soft"

I heard this quote in an EFT training several years ago. It’s meaning has transformed and deepened as I find myself preaching this truth to my clients, and myself, on a regular basis.⁣

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Many people seek therapy to help resolve a sense of loneliness or rejection in friendships or their community. They find themselves frustrated or fixated on why a relationship isn’t working. They mull over interactions and text messages from the past, trying to make sense of why the current relationship dynamic is not meeting the expectations they envisioned. ⁣

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I find that we can hold onto trying to make a relationship work that might not be workable. It’s possible we are attempting to plant and tend to a new friendship or relationship, where the soil is rocky and frozen. For whatever reason, this other person may be unable to "show up" or be vulnerable in the way that we may be desiring.⁣

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That’s ok.⁣

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Rather than getting stuck on why this relationship didn’t work, sometimes it’s best to focus our attention on where the soil is soft. The soft soil might be a consistent friend that we may not be noticing because we’re too focused on the past hurt.⁣

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It can be hard to shift from the past to the present and physical reminders can help us to come back to the here and now. In summer months, my husband reminds me to go out to our vegetable garden as a physical reminder to shift my perspective about the people that have been consistent and loyal in our lives. ⁣

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Our brains often fixate on the negative. Many of us need to consciously shift our awareness to remind ourselves of those who are present in our lives, even if it’s only 1-2 people in this present season. Invest in those that are willing and able to be present with us.⁣

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Dig where the ground is soft.

Be Well, Courtney